..My 23rd..

yesterday I celebrated my 23rd..
on the night before my day .. we are still struggling with the journey that much for something that must be achieved ... very tired ..
I went home that night without you by train ..
I went home by leaving your face that I know that you're thinking about something ..
At home you called and said that you already sleepy .. but it is the seconds will enter the day of my birthday
so I decided to wrap ..

but suddenly you are contacted promptly at 0:01 in the middle of me that still sleepy ...
you say happy birthday with love .. thanks dear ..

then, in the morning ... busy family on the move again
as if there is none to remember my day ..

However, you come back give me a surprise ..
you give a message that you've been there in front of my house
I was shocked and I'm still wearing a negligee ..
I thought you only came as usual .. but this time you gave me flowers and kisses on my forehead .. so sweet..


then you brought me a cake that is very simple, but so meaningful and warm ..

Finally, my family came home, and we celebrate together with a very simple cake but it was very touching and loving

thank God for gave me a family and someone who loves me so much
thank you my love for always give me a spririt and your support ... hopefully me and you are always given a blessing...

with love from me to you...

What is wrong..

until this day..i dont know what is wrong...
i meet you all...but i feel all of you just passed me away...
you just say hello for formality...its all just formality..

...?!@#?*!..

Bangun d pagi hari..bersemangat u/ mlakukan sesuatu terkait penelitianku bermodal wall post dr kamu..
Tiba2..ada kbr yg membuatku trhenti..
Aku mencoba menghubungimu..namun spt biasa hanya ada suara beep..beep..tdk trsambung..
Aku mencoba memutar otak..u/dpt mlakukan sesuatu..ternyata ada, namun mgkn jalan ini kurasa akan mmbuatmu kesal, maka aku meminta ijin padamu..krn aku tdk ingin ada yg kututupi..aku tdk ingin kamu punya pikiran yg mcm2..shg kamu bs fokus dluar sana..
Tp ternyata aku salah..
Maaf krn aku tdk bs menjadi yg kamu harapkan..
Skrg seolah2 smangatku terbang meninggalkanku..aku tdk berdaya..bahkan u/ mengeluarkan suara saja tak bs..aku merasa tertekan..tekanan ini trasa sgt berat! Saat ini aku tdk bs berpikir..linangan ini begitu deras..aku bingung! skrg aku hanya bs memalingkan wajahku dlm ksendirian agar tak terlihat...

..just my thought..

Said want to seriously..
Plan the future together..
Imagine the future together..
Wants to grow old together..
Spending our life together..
Don't want to miss a thing with me even just a little time..
Thats why i forced you..to do more harder..
Its all i did in order to make you can to be prouded in front of my big family..
Thats all...
Am i wrong?im sorry..thats all just my thought..

...it was mixed...

..tonight the stars so bright..
like usually, you drop me home..
like usually, i made you a coffee and a food for you..
like usually, we chat each other, seeing each other, and laugh together..
suddenly..you've actually said something that I usually hear..
but for this time..I feel a strange, worried, affraid, and did not want it
i just feel did not want you to join it at all..with no reason..
hope my feelings wrong..but please..just stay with me this time..
just to make my feelings calmly..because i dont want to losing you..and because i love you..
with love from me to you...

Aura

Aura begitu banyak jenismu..
Begitu banyak mempunyai arti..

Namun, mengapa kau berikan hanya satu dari sekian banyak jenismu padaku..?

Ya,..kau berikan aura lelah padaku..
Lelah yang tidak lagi kurasakan pada bagian fisik..
Aura, kau membuat semua ini menjadi kelam..

Aura, Semoga yang kau berikan itu hanya bersifat sementara..
Dan akan muncul aura yang lainnya yang lebih baik,
Yaitu aura kebahagiaan..

no answer...

i just heard the sound..
beep...beep...beep..
..or..
tulalit..tulalit..
..or..
the number you're calling is not active..bla..bla..bla..
its all i did in order to..
just want to know how are you today..not more..
because i hate to worry..